Belonging Blueprint: A Guide to Cultivating Connection, Part 1
If you’re like me, belonging has often felt just out of reach—like being “almost home” but never fully settled.
I don’t like feeling isolated, though, and I’m not one to play the victim. Whether it was finding my people while backpacking across foreign countries, moving to the Hudson Valley just before a global pandemic without knowing anyone and building a community from scratch, or making yoga students feel safe enough to let their hair down and “cheers” their neighbor in a Drunk Yoga® class, creating a sense of belonging became a craft, and now, a profession. It’s something I’ve honed over the years, and now I’m excited to share my expertise with you.
Whether you’re new to a city or trying to engage a group or workplace team around a common cause, my 3-part Belonging Blueprint can help. Belonging isn’t a feeling we happen upon—it’s something we build intentionally. It takes time, awareness, and refined technique. Well worth the effort, however, because when we cultivate belonging, we transform both our internal world and how we connect with others, unlocking a purpose and deeper fulfillment.
In this article, we’ll dive into part one of my Belonging Blueprint - “Embodied Belonging: Creating the Conditions.”
Getting Over Yourself: Both an Art and a Science
Embodied belonging is about setting up conditions that make you feel safe, joyful, and connected. Before you can belong anywhere, you need to feel at home within yourself. That said, it’s not so much about “finding belonging within yourself.” Belonging is relational—it’s about refining your relationship with the space in between you and another—[person, community or location]—it’s about knowing yourself well enough to engage with others fully and authentically.
To set up the conditions for belonging to arise naturally, we focus on self-care, boundaries, and rituals. How you take care of your body, mind, and environment impacts your ability to connect with others. If you’re exhausted or stressed, it’s hard to show up generously in your relationships. Daily practices—whether a morning routine that grounds you or setting boundaries that protect your energy—create the space for belonging to grow.
Embodied belonging isn’t about self-pampering; it’s about “getting over yourself” and taking responsibility for your well-being. This is often as simple as honoring our commitments to ourselves even when we don’t want to, such as actually turning off your phone before 10pm so as to prevent ourselves from social media-scrolling late into the night. An example I often use to illustrate the concept of “getting over ourselves” is if it’s Winter in New York, and you don’t wear a coat and you get cold, it’s not Winter’s fault…it’s yours.
When we’re self-responsible in creating experiences of safety, joy and grace for ourselves, we’re not only more available for new connections, but we’re able to offer our most radiant selves to others when we’re in environments where communal play is called for, such as team-building events, conferences or group yoga classes..
Here are 5 practical ways to embody belonging:
Ritualize movement and mindfulness. Practices like yoga, exercise, and meditation orient your body in time and space, creating a sense of safety and grounding.
Plan ahead. Knowing where you are and where you’re going gives you structure. Scheduling your day (and honoring your commitments) organizes you within your environment, setting up the conditions for belonging.
Normalize evening reflections. End your day by reflecting on what you learned, journaling, meditating, or practicing a calming activity. This weaves together a narrative of centeredness within your circumstances.
Set clear boundaries. Protect your energy by recognizing what feels good and what doesn’t. Establishing clear limits allows you to engage in experiences that feel safe and supportive.
Create daily rituals. Whether it’s morning coffee, a quick stretch, or a bedtime routine, consistent rituals help anchor you and foster a sense of personal belonging.
The Belonging Blueprint in Action
Belonging is more than a feeling; it’s a practice that starts with the small, deliberate actions we take in our daily lives. The way you create safety and centeredness for yourself shapes how you interact with the world. When you develop habits that ground you—through rituals, boundaries, and intentional choices—you naturally attract that same sense of ease and connection with others. The effort you put into cultivating belonging within your life will ripple outward, making the act of connecting with others more effortless and fun.
As the saying goes, "How we do anything is how we do everything." When we consistently make choices that honor our well-being, we embody a sense of belonging that invites others to do the same. By showing up fully for ourselves, we open the door to more joyful, authentic interactions with those around us. Belonging isn’t something we chase; it’s something we create, one intentional step at a time.
For guidance on developing belonging-building rituals for yourself so that you can set up the conditions to experience a sense of belonging with others at live events and in the workplace, subscribe to my UplifTV digital yoga library.
